Here are the archives for the past year's News, The Pathetic Wanker Awards, and The Book of the Dead.
News — 2004
The time is almost here, my minions. Soon the shopping frenzy will abate, people will slow down, and all will be quiet. That is until X-Mas morning when the sound of wrapping paper being violated, electronic gadgets (which never should have been created to make noise), squeals of joy and mumblings of "what the fuck". Parents wishing they had not had that extra glass of eggnog, the night before, as the kiddies come screaming into the bedroom demanding they wake, something that would surely have earned a swift death on any other morning of the year. And the obligatory trek to some relatives house, or relatives coming to visit, for the X-Mas feast. People that you avoid like the plague 351 days of the year, you spend time with and pretend not to want to choke the hell out of.
Yes X-Mas, truly a magickal time to be able to bring all this about and not have society come to an Armageddon. Well then in that spirit I will go ahead and wish everyone of you special blessings. May you be able to duck out early from the in-laws/relatives. May your kids actually sleep in (yeah I know, no freaken way but at lest I wished it for you). May you receive that which you will not have to return. And may the credit card companies all get hacked and everyone's bill be forever lost.
All these things and more I desire for all of you that have come to visit and have graced my site with their present. To all I desire a dark, wet, X-Mas. So go and get the KY and fill someone special full of your X-Mas cheer. [evil grin] In that sprit, I have uploaded a new picture of myself, in the Dark Gallery area, for the holidays. Actually was taken the first week of December and, as you can see, my mother already had the tree up. Yes, that was taken at my mother's house, like I would ever have so much "white" in mine? It is even worse now as it looks like X-mas at Martha Stewart's house, at least before she became cell block's D bitch.
One more note, remember I am taking nominees for December's "I'm a Pathetic Wanker Award" of the month/year. So either contact me or post it in the book of the dead.
Well my children of the night, december is fully upon us and I am all ready nauseated by all the Old Navy ads and thinly veiled commercials that they are calling "kid shows" all in the frantic rush to get one to depart with their money and buy into the hype of love = amount of presents+amount spent formula. X-mas will soon be here and I plan to wrestle Santa down this year and show him just why I am on his "naughty" list/ [evil grin]
There has been some good news, I have just finished some freelance projects that will help me to get my ass out of some debt. Yeppers, I am still working freelance and still looking for a full time job. So if you know of either, throw this Dark Goddess a bone will you?
Speaking of bones, I am up for suggestions for the December nomination of "I'm a Pathetic Wanker Award". So send me your suggestions and why they should receive such a prestigious award. I will give full acknowledgement of the person that sends me their nominee and post their picture, if they send. So here is your chance for your 15 minutes of fame and to be seen by all on my web site. What not enough? You want more? Ok, how about this, the winner gets to be spanked my me. Now if that does not inspire you to send will shit, I guess I will just have take over Santa's job and pay each of you a visit on X-mas eve.
Well here it is Thanksgiving, feast day, go-to-your-relatives-and-try-no-to-kill-the-bastards-remembering-why-the-hell-you-moved-out-day! Well first the good news I have uploaded two recent pictures of myself. (Yeah I know, finally.) You can see them in the Dark Gallery they are were taken a little over a week ago. So check them out and let me know what you think.
Well I am still chapped in the ass about the elections so now is the time to contact me for who you would like to see awarded December's "I'm a Pathetic Wanker Award". Just used the contact page or you can enter it into the guest book, just remember to give me a full name and the reason why you think the person, or institution, is deserving of such a prestigious honor.
Hmm.... oh yeah the bad news, well for me and those's that live here in Houston at least. Numbers, a night club I haunt, has changed it's thursday Goth night, called Underworld, to latino night! Can you freaken believe that? Latino! Darkness why didn't they just fuck a cat and record it, it would be the same as having to listen to latino music! What brainiac was using a microwave, set to high, with the door open? I was told it was because the person that started it was moving and could not promote it anymore and that the crowds were small. Fuck Mary, they never advertised it except on their web site and the few listings that appeared under "Goth Clubs". That is not promoting. Now the only Goth venue, except Havok on Sunday nights, is gone. Dallas has a few places that do Goth and they do great, even during week nights! Why, because they actively promote it and advertise it! Hell this is Houston, we have enough latino dance clubs but not a single place that is Goth! How pathetic is that? Now where the fuck am I supposed to hunt? Being inconsiderate to the Dark Goddess is liable to get your scrotum turned into a change purse!
Anyway, this is he last night they are having Underworld, I am going to try my best to "duck" out, after dinner, from my relatives and get my ass up there. After that well if you, or anyone you know, has some venture capital contact me. I know I could put together a Goth/retro 80's night club and make it a success, hell it is not like there is any competition in this fucking town. Well got to go and start cooking what I am supposed to bring. Have fun children and howl at the moon tonight. I know I shall.
Well my darlings, the voting is over and we have four more years of anal rape ahead. I have already awarded the "I'm a Pathetic Wanker Award" for the month of November. See if you can guess who received it before taking a look. After reading it, drop me a line in the "Book of the Dead" and tell me, and the world, what you think.
On other news, my Halloween was truly pathetic this year. No money to go out on so I had to make due with scaring the kids that came to the door begging for candy. Darkness, my life as sunk to a new low. I am still looking for work, so if you know of anything let me know.
Oh and to the guy that wrote me and desired me to "suck
his cock", sorry dear but I desire a big bratwurst not vienna
sausage when I dine and crass remarks like those, besides being
the mark of an ignorant mind, are not the way get a date with
How this got me I have no idea but Cradle of Filth released a new CD last September, Nymphetamine, and it is great! I have included this e-card from roadrun.com so that you can all see and hear a bit of it for yourself. The female vocals are Liv Kristine, formerly of Theater of Tragedy, and blend so well with Dani's demonic voice. Though I would kill the bitch in less than a heart beat to have Dani to myself. [evil grin]
On another note of killing, remember it is just three days away from when the American people will all go into a booth and pull their levers. No, I am not talking about a mass glory hole experience, I speak of the presidential elections. Though come to think of it, it is like one massive jerk off. So you may want to check out the October "I'm a Pathetic Wanker Award" and see if you can guess who I am NOT voting for.
Tomorrow is Halloween, so go out and raise some Hell and enjoy the greatest holiday of all. Hopefully someone will want to take this Dark Goddess out and help me celebrate with massive quantities of libations and copious amounts of wild, feral passion. If you are in Houston and passing by a cemetery that night and hear howling, that will be me. Unless it is one of my victims. [evil grin]
Well my darling ones, October is almost over and I find myself. once more, looking for work. Yep I had to leave because they changed the pay structure and under the new method I was being paid for volume of calls. When I figured it out it came out to $6.50 and hour on average. No way can anyone live on that! So the plan to take over and subjugate them to my will has had to scrapped. So I politely removed myself and proceeded to write up the October winner of "I'm a Pathetic Wanker Award". Yes I know the month is not over but seeing how elections are only days away I thought it important that this month's recipient should receive his early. So go and check it out and then let me know what you think my signing my "Book of the Dead".
Speaking of "The Book of the Dead", I wish to thank everyone that has taken the time to sign it and for all the lovely comments that were posted. You all shall get to serve me when I have dominion over the world!
Elections are just around the corner, so I urge everyone to vote. Unless you are voting Republican or for Nader, then may I suggest you do us all a favor and lobotomize the rest of your brain and quit wasting the air for the rest of us. Seriously, if I hear one more in-bred, sub-african, perverted pygmie try to tell me how the Republican party, and it's religious right platform, is better for the country and how we are saver now, I swear I will eviscerate them and us their intestines as garter belts.
I guess now that I am once more umemployed I shall have to resume
my belly-aching, as you may have already noticed.
Well another month has past and finally I got a break. Yeppers, all fans, fanatics, minions, and worshippers of the Dark Goddess it finally happened. I am employed! Ok so the job is not the most glamourous, nor does it pay any where near what I used to get but at least it is something and the people there are really great. Of course my plan is to be really successful at it and in a few months take over through an internal coup and be proclaimed ruler of all. Then to have them tithe 25% of their wages to me. [evil grin]
It is also time to announce the winner of the "I am a Pathetic Wanker Award", and once again it was a whole bevy to chose from. CBS for it's mishandling it's research and giving ammunition to the right that the whole National Guard record of George Bush is a non-issue. The Chechen terrorists that had to prove their bravery by killing children. Charlie, Frances, Ivan, and Jeanne, the four hurricanes that seem to be enacting revenge for Florida's governor Jeb Bush's handing the election to his brother and, perhaps, reminding them not to screw it up this time. The Republican National COnvention that trapped out all the moderates to show how "kind and gentle" the republicans are and then were placed back in their box so they could cower to the extremists. Though as much as all of them are deserving there is one individual that makes it really easy to pick, and that is "I am a" Dick Cheney. Yeap, the vice president gets the award this month and you can read why he is so deserving on the Pathetic Wanker Awards.
I also want to thank all that have signed the The Book of the Dead and all the kind words and thoughts that they have shared. If you care to share your thoughts, ideas, bitches, cripes, or perhaps nominate a candidate for the "I'm a Pathetic Wanker Award, please feel free to do so.
Well that about sums up this installment for now. Hmm, kind of strange not to end this with some belly-aching about not being employed. It would seems I will have to find something else to complain about. [evil grin]
Ok, first thing you may have noticed is that I have removed the last two month's winners of "The Pathetic Wanker Award" and have moved them into the new section, entitled appropriately enough, Pathetic Wanker Awards. Make sense yes? I did this because I plan to make this a monthly feature now. If you know of someone who should receive such an award, click on the link and see the details for submission.
This month was a close one one for the winners. You had the Swift-Boat puppets, the Republican propaganda regime (Re-election machine), and an assortment of some of life's greatest bottom feeders. After careful consideration I have chosen a lesser known dipshit that for his total ineptitude of the issues and betrayal of those that have fought long and hard for the rights he would would be willing to fuck us over and exclude us for. I have chosen Chris Crane! So go and see why he is so deserving of this award.
Noticed not many are signing The Book of the Dead. What do I need to do, promise a naked picture of myself if you do sign it? Perhaps better, I will send you a naked picture of Dick Cheney if you DON'T sign it, muhahahah!! So let the world know what you think of me and my site and how I am such a bitch, so sign the freaken book!
Hmm.. what else? Still looking for work, so freaken hire me already! Am I the only one tried of my belly aching about being unemployed? A happy Dark Goddess would perhaps be a naked Dark Goddess, think about that all you one-handed typists.
Just did a make over on Dark Goddess Productions take look and tell me what you think of the new design? Hell you can even use the The Book of the Dead to let me know what you think. Especially seeing how it is looking rather empty right now.
Not much else, did some site clean up and I removed some dead links and the voting on underground-web.com seeing how they have disappeared. Perhaps they actually did go underground, hmm...
As always you can evoke me and tell me any ideas you may have for the site. The Book of the Dead was actually an idea from one of you out there. (Thanks Roland!) So you see I do actually listen to you my lovely minions.
Well just finished adding a new section to the site. Seeing how I took down the Dark Gathering message forum I thought it would be nice to just have a guest book where visitors could make comments, share thoughts, make suggestions, rant, and so forth. So I created The Book of the Dead. Now you can post for the world to see and not have to sign up for anything. No fuss, no mess, no sticky goo on your hands. So take look and write your epitaph in the book.
I have made a drastic change to the site. I have taken down the Dark Gathering message forum as no one was using it and replaced it with Dark Realms. It is a page of club listings, concert venues, and places of interest that I frequent here in Houston. If you know of place I should add that is here in Houston, let me know by evoking me.
I also added a new poem that was submitted to me. The Last Few Minutes by Chris Long. Take a read as it is quite powerful. Thanks Chris.
I am behind on the hosting payment. If any want to donate $10.66 to keep this site up, let me know by contacting me from here. Sorry to have to beg but things are really fucking tight right now.
Also if you have a suggestion for a page to add to this site, let me know. I welcome suggestions and would really like your input.
Well in a desperate attempt to try and drum up some very much needed money, I have added a new section and opened up "Dark Goddess Productions". (Note the entry, on the navigation up there, replacing "Calling the Darkness".) So if you have a web site that needs work on, flyers that just won't fly, are ready to come out tot he world and say "I am here, damn it!", or any just a hankering to hire me, go check it out. There are links to other sites I have done and I will be adding more.
Ok as you can see I am still about. Was able to do a little free lance and able to even keep this site up for a bit longer. Yes I am still looking for work and, yes, and I under a hellashis bill crunch but have a few leads and hoping one will pan out.
On much better news, I have met a very remarkable and wonderful person. Her name is Gia Bathory and she is an actual descendant of Er'zabeth Bathory. I have had the honor of being able to call her "friend" and "sister". I also suggest you check out her web site by clicking her banner.
Let's see, what else has been happening? May is about to drop and soon summer will be on us with a vengeance. Which means it is bikini season, damn! Guess I am going to have to come out of hibernation and start running five miles a day again. Have a killer black bikini, with skulls on it of course, and I sure as shit want to lose a few of these winter pounds. Then I can go moon bathing in the cemeteries around here.
So if you are driving around Houston, at night, and passing a
cemetery, and hear howling, that will most probably be me.
Hey, just came across this flash movie I did back in about 3 years ago, I think, and thought everyone would like to have a look. I created it make under a different name then and the music and narration was done by Brian Farr. Hope you guys enjoy. Click here to open another window to view.
Well all, it seems as this web site will only last for, at most, another month. I am not one to whine, but truth be told I am now in financial hell and will have to sell my house and find some place to park and lay my head. Is a real bitch when every where I apply for work they only see a transsexual. Is hard enough to find a job with this economy )thank the fuck out of you Ken Lay, Jeff Scilling, & to the Bevis and Butthead in the Whitehouse) with out that kind of baggage as well.
This is the first time I have ever been so long unemployed. The handful of free lance work I have been able to get helped and to those that gave me the work, I am so grateful. To all that have written me and complimented this site, I say thank you and that I am grateful. You guys were a high point when I would see an email form one of you, as I was going through the spam, insults, and rejections of my email.
I had hoped that the new lay out would be completed an up but it looks like that will not have time to happen now. So I will close with this. To all of you that have come and visited my site, I thank you for taking the time to pause and read some. I mean that with all sincerity. For myself, one way or another I will survive and will complete my transition and the operations. Till then look for me in the shadows behind the tombstone and the dark places of imagination.
You all have been the greatest,
Amor E Morte
Theresa Elizabeth Bathory.
Well another birthday come and gone. January 24th, for those wondering. No cards, no cake, no email, kinda of depressing actually when those you care about don't remember. Is not like I did not drop some subtle hints to them. I mean I know it can be easy to over look the singing telegram message, announcing my birthday, I sent to all of them. Can be hard to see the forty foot billboards I had placed the their front yards. Also cannot blame them for not hearing the ice cream truck, I had parked in their drive way at 3:00 am, announcing it, as it played that chalk board, annoying six bars of the "barney" song. So perhaps the fault is mine as I should have, perhaps, been more aggressive in letting everyone know.
Hmm.... wonder how much it would cost, next year, to have Richard Simmons go to each of their houses and live a week with them. All the while reminding them and scolding them for not jazzersizing and eating their twinkies?
Well this new year started off with such a great bang. Let go from work do to seasonal slow down. So yes I am, once more desperately looking for work. Personal matters kicking on me. I am telling you I am about to start kicking the world back, right in the wobblies!
My resolution is to continue creating the new site and to update more often. As one can see, I have not been keeping up with that too well. Also you may have noticed the banner above for Mistress Norma Jean. She is a dear friend of mine and I felt like doing that for her. So nah, My site My rules.
I have placed all of last years rants, raves thoughts, and such, in the crypt. So if you care to read, go for it.